I want to write about the present. I don’t always want to write about the past, but on how I feel and what’s going on in my life. I want to write about the people I love and cherish the most. I couldn’t think of anyone else but my grandfather to write about on this Valentine’s Day weekend. He truly makes this holiday a day full of love for me. He taught me that it’s better to give than to receive. It’s an amazing feeling being able to see hundreds of faces that I can still picture in my mind receiving flowers. There’s no amount of love I can give that he has poured into me.I love writing and telling others about him . I love hearing stories about him. I look forward to the day where I can introduce my kids to him. I can’t wait to tell my grandkids the legacy behind the name Stritesky. I have always said and still believe that God created earthly angels and has placed them in our lives. I know he’s my earthly angel.
I can literally close my eyes and see my grandfather’s ocean blue eyes staring into mine. I can picture his long sleeved shirt stuffed with ticket orders, gas receipts and lose money in his pocket. I can sense that he is running out of patience because his mind is always going. I can literally see him standing in front of me asking “what kind of biscuit you want?” People say all the time …if I could just go back for a day. I haven’t been able to understand the one day part. I’d go back over and over again. I’d go back to the time on Valentine’s Day delivering flowers in a van that everyone always wonder ..will this van make it up this hill? I can smell the scent of roses all over the flower shop. Literally all over. I can feel the coldness of the water while I’m filling up hundreds of water picks. I can hear the telephone operators on all four lines going over sappy card messages and telling them, “Sir I can’t give you an exact time when your arrangement will arrive, but it will be there.” Which by the way we always prayed that it would make it there. I’d go back to the time when I saw Eddie run his fingers down a rose filled with thorns and me yelling, “ouch Eddie!”…expecting to see blood but nothing was there. His hands were so tough that unlike every designer in America who has to use a thorn stripper he’d use his hands. I’d go back to the time we hopped in the van and took of to Kroger. Our Kroger runs were always my favorite. Eddie would always tell me to go pick something out. It always made me laugh because we where in a grocery store and he wanted me pick something out like we were at the mall. One time we were in a hurry and he rushed past a table filled with powder doughnuts and they rolled all over the floor. I remember this exact moment. I looked up at him and he looked at me and said, “let’s get out of here.” One of my favorite and cherished memories I love to tell people about. I’d go back to the night of our wedding when I was placed into the car with smiling faces and as I looked at all the faces waving goodbye, I saw Eddie. I remember looking closer and he was placing all the flower vases into his van. I’d go back to each and every moment where I could just spend more time with him delivering flowers.
Since Eddie had his stroke over a year ago he has not be able to fully communicate words with us. He talks to us all day long sometimes it makes sense, other times I simply just smile and pretend I know what he is saying. Every time we have to say goodbye both of us start to cry. I can say over and over, ” I will see you soon Eddie, I promise.” He stands there with tears falling down knowing that I am about to leave. Even thought he has days were he can and cannot fully say it I know he loves me. Whats even better is that I know that Eddie feels loved through his emotions. Part of me wants to know what Eddie thinks about his business being sold and it being physically gone. The other part of me puts that thought in the back of my mind. I wonder if he’s sad? I wonder if he is relieved that it’s finally over? I’ve always wonder did he want someone in the family to take over? All these emotions have been running through my head for months. Then a memory popped up one evening..I remember being at the flower shop with Ed during Mother’s Day. Which to some people have always assumed Valentine’s Day was our busiest day, it’s actually Mother’s Day. I have always said mothers triumphed over girlfriends …I remember asking him, “Do you want Jeffrey and I to take over one day?” I reminisced him looking down at the casket spray he was working on and said, “sell the business…spend time with family…” Those are the four words that I keep on telling myself…”spend time with family.” So many people have reminded me that the building may be physically gone , but the memories are engraved in my heart. With a new month starting…the building being gone… and me remembering my conversation with Eddie…I can finally say goodbye and go “spend time with family”
Thanks Eddie!
Your Ashy
writings 